Time flies, and your child's second birthday is here. How wonderful to see her achieve so many milestones. During the last two years, you have witnessed how she has changed physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, she is not the only one that changed; your house might also look a little bit different. Probably you have multiple toys here and there around the house; some of them your toddler still uses, and some of them she hasn’t used for many months. Now that her second celebration of life is here, many of your loved ones might want to give her a present, but is that necessary? Please take a look at this month’s article, where we will discuss how to protect a calm, prepared environment with the elements that she needs. Also, we will give you some ideas on how to control the shower of gifts your child receives every birthday.
One of the main characteristics of a well-prepared Montessori environment is that it has the right number of elements in it. The adult plays a crucial role here because he is the one that will make sure it is prepared. Through observation, the adult will decide which elements are useful to the child and which ones are not being touched by the child so it can be removed. There is a balance in every space that can provide a sense of calm and foster concentration. Because of this, some people might associate Montessori with minimalism; minimalism is living mindfully, and that is precisely what Montessori is; being mindful, not of the space, but the needs of the child. Once we understand where our child is in her development and her needs, then we will be able to offer a decluttered space with precisely what she needs.
So, what to do when you have birthday celebrations that might involve many guests gifting your little one with toys that she does not need and that will occupy space in her environment at home? Well, here are a few suggestions:
Ask guests for the gift of their presence only, and be clear that no material gifts are expected.
Many times, parents include in the invitation to the party a small sentence explaining that gifts are not required. For instance, “Anna's gift is to see you at her party, so there is no need to bring any other gift.” Some families prefer to be more direct, for instance: “No gifts please.” The wording will vary from family to family, but this is an excellent way to let the guests know that your attention is on having a good time rather than getting any gifts from them.
Ask for a donation to a good cause in the name of your child instead of gifts.
Some families prefer to find a way to help others in need and ask that guests donate to a cause. For instance, “Your presence at her party is Anna’s gift, but if you still want to give her something, we encourage you to donate to Happy Paws Shelter since Anna loves dogs and wants them to be happy."
Pick one gift that your child wants and offer the opportunity for the guests to pitch in for the item.
Sometimes children are attracted to more complex and expensive gifts. This is an excellent opportunity to include all of your loved ones in the present. Just make sure that it will meet your child’s needs. Avoid asking for cooperation in buying tablets or mobile phones for young children. Please do your research and find something that will help her development. For instance, a pikler triangle, climbing structure, bicycle, etc. You can use expressions such as “This year Anna really wants a climbing structure. No gift is required, but if you choose to bring one, please make it a $5 bill in a card.”
Benefits of Going Gift-Free
- Opening gifts on stage might make your child feel uncomfortable.
- It is better for the planet since most children’s toys are made out of plastic.
- Fewer gifts mean less clutter and more mental order.
- Your child might get excited to open most of the gifts, but the reality is that she will use just a few of them and for brief moments. The rest will be sitting on the shelves for months and taking away essential space and mental order.
- Your child will value her birthdays because of the fun time she had, not because of the toys she got. She will have memories with loved ones and focus on them, not on receiving.
- Nowadays, our society has a culture of consumerism. Without us knowing, when we shower children with tons of gifts we are giving them the unconscious message that the more they have, the better, even if they don’t use it. When children get used to getting multiple material gifts, they get surprised or upset when they do not get them. Do we truly want our children to base their happiness on material things?
- It allows us to focus on experiences instead of items. Children love going to zoos, parks, fairs, waterparks, etc. Try gifting experiences instead of things.
What to Do with The Toys You Already Have
Rotate them. Even if your child has many toys, there is a way that you can help build that external and internal order. Select the toys that she has used the most lately and leave them on display; the rest can be removed and stored. Keep observing your child, and when you notice she does not use the ones that are on display, then it is time to rotate and bring some out from storage.
Designate a space. Have a designated area for your child’s toys. Avoid having a little bit of everything all around the house. Remember, we are building a sense of order, and it starts with the environment. Just like you don’t want your makeup or books all around the house, the same respect should be given to your toddler’s belongings.
Display them in an orderly fashion. Have a shelf to display each toy separately, and avoid the use of huge containers, baskets, or crates where all toys are together. Since you will have fewer toys, it will be easier to display them one by one instead of dumping all of them in a container.
Independence Tip
“The Flip Trick”
This is a simple and handy trick to teach young children how to put on their jackets. Take a look at this picture from thekavanaughreport.com that illustrates each step. Next time the weather gets chilly, try it with your toddler.
Have a Little Extra Time?
Decluttering Montessori-Style by The Montessori Show
Enjoy this one-hour video with two experienced Montessorians and Parent Mentors on how to declutter the space in which your child will be. They will discuss the reasons and benefits of having a clean and calm environment for children and give many examples of how to achieve it.
Link to the YouTube video:
